Blessings to you, the readers of this page, in Jesus Christ our Lord. May He guide you and protect you always.
Good to hear from you again.
I used to feel just like you now do about not letting anyone else run my life. So I ran it my way for a long time. What did I get? Two divorces, a couple of botched careers, a large number of pleasant sexual memories, and a urinary tract obstruction as a complication of VD. I was no closer to understanding Life at fifty-two than I had been at twenty-two.
Just for perspective: I truly thought I would be able to figure things out for myself. I was a Merit Scholarship finalist, was accepted to Harvard undergrad (went to Northwestern instead, on an all-expense Austin Scholarship). I aced my intro Philosophy course, and I thought I had just as good a chance as any philosopher to understand everything! I wasn't intimidated by any of them.
Wrong. Couldn't do it. (Here's a secret: nobody can do it! Why not? God reserves these things to Himself.) But I have always prided myself on being a realist. And as a realist, I was forced to recognize my total failure to comprehend the meanings of Life. Only after I admitted failure did God step in to get me. As long as I arrogantly resisted Him and tried to do things my own way, He let me flounder and struggle pointlessly.
Here is the great paradox: Freedom to live life as you choose is actually slavery to your own whims. You blindly follow your own blind leadership, whoever you may be. Thus you fall into a pit. But once you let God take over your life, actually moving in to live inside you, then you have total freedom, because you basically want to do only those things which please Him.
It's a love affair, where you are in love with God, the Creator of this vast universe you admire so much. And if you love Him, He will love you in return.
"I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me." (Proverbs 8:17 RSV)
This one verse keeps jumping out at me, in connection with you. There are many instances where God responds to people, depending on how they first deal with Him. He is frequently not the initiator of the relationship. He wants us to try to find Him. He doesn't want us to sit back and demand that He make Himself understood clearly, to our intellectual satisfaction.
How do you suppose the universe got here? By accident? That is more preposterous than any religion ever could be! No, it was created. How? By some process we don't understand, but nevertheless it was created. What created it, or who? We call Him (It) "God." Starting with that, then where do we go? We start looking to see how God has revealed Himself, if He ever did at all. What do we find? Three monotheistic world religions, based on the same one God: Judaism, Islam and Christianity. All accept the One God, all accept the Bible prophets as true. Beyond that, they branch apart from each other. All other religions but these three are creations of man's mind or are demonic, like the pagan cults to Diana, etc. These three are essentially correct in their first principles, which are: there is One God; He created everything; and we eventually have to answer to Him for our actions. As among these three religions, Christianity speaks to me, and God has called me to be a "Bible Christian."
So as a first step, why don't you accept the fact of one God, then see where you go from there. Try to find Him. Ask Him to show Himself to you. Let Him know that you are sincere in seeking the truth, not merely another rebel trying to avoid Him. For now, don't worry about Christianity. Just worry about God. See then what He does for you.
Yours in Christ,
Bill McGinnis <><
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Blessings to you. May God help us all.
Rev. Bill McGinnis, Director - LoveAllPeople.org
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